ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
