It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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