yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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