I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
