i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
