Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
