I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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