if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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