So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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