I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
cat food counts as protein by the way
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
