Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize