Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I need a beard to bite.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
