i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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