My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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