i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
NoShamevember. You game?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
