You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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