can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
FUCK WHALES
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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