If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
third nipple confirmed
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
