She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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