I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
