Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
