Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I will be naked everywhere
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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