dude i'm inner monologue high
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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