4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
