fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
