Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
