my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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