you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
