i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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