Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize