Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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