capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
