I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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