Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
