Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize
