he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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