I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
