is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
