So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
