i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
