we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
