I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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