I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
