But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
