I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
