Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
