I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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