So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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