is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
