just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
