i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My penis needs a shock collar
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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